Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
2010-12-25
A very special day
Today it's 25 December. Of course, this is a very special day, that everyone should celebrate, including Platypus Pancakes: It's "Let's annoy colourblind people day"! Of course, especially for this reason, the entire site has been redesigned so that many colourblind people will not be able to read it. And for all you people who are living in the future, I'll keep that design for this one post. And for all you people who are living in the past... How did you manage to read this post?
2010-12-19
A historic occasion
Welcome, everybody, to a historic occasion, as you will today read several phrases that, according to Google, have never been spoken on the internet before!
"there are actually intelligent people on the internet"
"their curtains were eaten"
"no mr potato heads were harmed in the making"
"set a platypus on fire"
"is there a faith healer in the room"
"jar jar binks rocks your socks off"
"i would die for my twitter account"
"twilight is not awful at all"
"strangled with an old sock"
"lived on a diet of giraffe meat"
"had his eyes poked out with commas"
"noses fighting crime"
"gandhi wielding a chainsaw"
"got eaten by a garden gnome"
"luxembourgers and witches"
It's a bit of a surprise to me that none of these were used before. Several of them would be quite amusing incidents. "gandhi wielding a chansaw" and "luxembourgers and witches" could make for great villains for some story. (The Luxembourgers hate the fact that their country is so small, so they team up with witches to turn every foreigner into the world into a frog) Others, like the ones about Jar Jar Binks and Twilight are of course not surprising at all.
People at the cinema
Today I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, part 1. The movie itself was pretty good, though it got a bit too slow at the middle. Certainly a lot better then the previous three movies, which rushed through things way too quickly and skipped too much. I got a bit annoyed by two people there, though:
First, there was a lady who decided to call someone in the middle of the movie. She wasn't just rude enough to leave her phone on, but she actually called someone to tell that person she was at the movie: "Hey, I'm at the movie." "The movie." "No, I can't speak louder, because I'm at the movie!". Of course, people "shh"'d her, and asked her to turn off the phone, so she told them to be quiet, as they were interrupting her call. She was removed by the cinema's personnel about a minute later (She still hadn't manage to tell the person she was calling that she was at the movie), but who starts calling people during a movie? And it wasn't even at the somewhat sluggish part where Harry, Ron, and Hermione camp, but during the part where they infiltrate the ministry.
The second person who annoyed me did so at the end of the movie, when everyone was starting to leave. I heard him saying to someone "Well, that was way too complicated, I couldn't understand a thing, even though I watched that one with the Goblet of Fire a couple years back!" Seriously, what did this guy expect? He went to see the seventh part of a movie franchise without having seen five of the six movies that precede it (and probably having read none of the books), and he's surprised he didn't understand the plot?
A third person made my day by saying something similarly stupid, though: "Wow, what a depressing ending. I though Harry would beat Voldemort or something, but they just give up because Dobby died?" I overheard while walking to the exit. Heh, don't mind the "Part 1" that was printed pretty much everywhere, dude.
First, there was a lady who decided to call someone in the middle of the movie. She wasn't just rude enough to leave her phone on, but she actually called someone to tell that person she was at the movie: "Hey, I'm at the movie." "The movie." "No, I can't speak louder, because I'm at the movie!". Of course, people "shh"'d her, and asked her to turn off the phone, so she told them to be quiet, as they were interrupting her call. She was removed by the cinema's personnel about a minute later (She still hadn't manage to tell the person she was calling that she was at the movie), but who starts calling people during a movie? And it wasn't even at the somewhat sluggish part where Harry, Ron, and Hermione camp, but during the part where they infiltrate the ministry.
The second person who annoyed me did so at the end of the movie, when everyone was starting to leave. I heard him saying to someone "Well, that was way too complicated, I couldn't understand a thing, even though I watched that one with the Goblet of Fire a couple years back!" Seriously, what did this guy expect? He went to see the seventh part of a movie franchise without having seen five of the six movies that precede it (and probably having read none of the books), and he's surprised he didn't understand the plot?
A third person made my day by saying something similarly stupid, though: "Wow, what a depressing ending. I though Harry would beat Voldemort or something, but they just give up because Dobby died?" I overheard while walking to the exit. Heh, don't mind the "Part 1" that was printed pretty much everywhere, dude.
2010-12-14
One million things that would really ruin my day, part one
nr. 9: Being force-fed a live frog.
nr. 32: A guy in a clown costume following me around.
nr. 2761: The Moon blowing up.
nr. 7765: Someone talking to me about football (either actual football or american football).
nr. 744: Someone switcheroo'ing my pair of shoes for three left shoes.
nr. 7239: Luxembourg building a doomsday weapon.
nr. 5: Christmas ornaments.
nr. 51421: A man with five nostrils.
nr. 50729: Being showered in rabbit droppings.
nr. 667569: EA games buying any other gaming company.
nr. 7050: A dog spitting in my face.
nr. 743687: The Blue Men Group throwing a stone through my window.
nr. 24165: Someone mailing me his vomit.
nr. 39: Getting cremated while still alive.
nr. 20: Having no eyelids.
nr. 723759: Seeing nude pictures of John McCain.
nr. 723760: Actually, even hearing those exist would ruin my day.
nr. 29: Vikings buying the city.
nr. 4102: Morons gluing wigs to random people's heads. (Though if I were not included in the random people, that would be kind of funny)
nr. 32: A guy in a clown costume following me around.
nr. 2761: The Moon blowing up.
nr. 7765: Someone talking to me about football (either actual football or american football).
nr. 744: Someone switcheroo'ing my pair of shoes for three left shoes.
nr. 7239: Luxembourg building a doomsday weapon.
nr. 5: Christmas ornaments.
nr. 51421: A man with five nostrils.
nr. 50729: Being showered in rabbit droppings.
nr. 667569: EA games buying any other gaming company.
nr. 7050: A dog spitting in my face.
nr. 743687: The Blue Men Group throwing a stone through my window.
nr. 24165: Someone mailing me his vomit.
nr. 39: Getting cremated while still alive.
nr. 20: Having no eyelids.
nr. 723759: Seeing nude pictures of John McCain.
nr. 723760: Actually, even hearing those exist would ruin my day.
nr. 29: Vikings buying the city.
nr. 4102: Morons gluing wigs to random people's heads. (Though if I were not included in the random people, that would be kind of funny)
2010-12-12
Movie Idea
I had an idea for a really weird movie just now. It may have already be done, in which case I'd like to watch that movie. Anyway, so here's the idea:
The movie starts as a slapstick comedy about two neighbours, let's call them Bob and Joe, who are having an argument because Bob's tree blocks the Sun from Joe's garden. They start throwing weird stuff at each other and make goofy plans to make each other's lives miserable and general hilarity ensues.
That night, both go to sleep, but they hear something and weird things happen while the film's style has rather abruptly shifted to a creepy film noir-ish style while they try to find out what's going on.
It turns out to be aliens sneaking around their houses. As the style shifts to Sci-fi, Bob and Joe each make contact with a different alien species, and when the aliens find out the other aliens have made contact with the other neighbour, they decide to each ally themselves with Bob/Joe, and a galactic war erupts over the matter, with Bob and Joe each commanding one side.
A while later, Bob and Joe each land on the same planet, and fighting erupts between them and their troops in a tragic war movie style.
It turns out, however, that this planet has some rather gruesome monsters turning it into horror, and one of them trails Bob, but just before it can kill him, his wife gives her life to save him.
Next comes some sad tragic angsty stuff where Bob grieves over his wife's death and blames himself and that sort of stuff.
However, Bob meets a girl, let's call her Bertolli, who helps him get over it and enters in a relationship with him while the movie takes a turn for the romantic.
Bob discovers that the only way to defeat Joe and his army of aliens is with a certain lost artifact. Joe and Bertolli go look for this artifact, which is buried somewhere in an ancient temple, in adventurous Indiana Jones style.
They find this artifact, and next they fight loads of aliens in brainless action movie style.
Finally, they confront Joe, who suddenly starts singing, and the movie ends with a sudden musical ending.
If this movie was really made, it would probably get very poor reviews and be a complete financial flop, but it might end up becoming a cult film. I think it would be a funny experiment to make a movie like this.
The movie starts as a slapstick comedy about two neighbours, let's call them Bob and Joe, who are having an argument because Bob's tree blocks the Sun from Joe's garden. They start throwing weird stuff at each other and make goofy plans to make each other's lives miserable and general hilarity ensues.
That night, both go to sleep, but they hear something and weird things happen while the film's style has rather abruptly shifted to a creepy film noir-ish style while they try to find out what's going on.
It turns out to be aliens sneaking around their houses. As the style shifts to Sci-fi, Bob and Joe each make contact with a different alien species, and when the aliens find out the other aliens have made contact with the other neighbour, they decide to each ally themselves with Bob/Joe, and a galactic war erupts over the matter, with Bob and Joe each commanding one side.
A while later, Bob and Joe each land on the same planet, and fighting erupts between them and their troops in a tragic war movie style.
It turns out, however, that this planet has some rather gruesome monsters turning it into horror, and one of them trails Bob, but just before it can kill him, his wife gives her life to save him.
Next comes some sad tragic angsty stuff where Bob grieves over his wife's death and blames himself and that sort of stuff.
However, Bob meets a girl, let's call her Bertolli, who helps him get over it and enters in a relationship with him while the movie takes a turn for the romantic.
Bob discovers that the only way to defeat Joe and his army of aliens is with a certain lost artifact. Joe and Bertolli go look for this artifact, which is buried somewhere in an ancient temple, in adventurous Indiana Jones style.
They find this artifact, and next they fight loads of aliens in brainless action movie style.
Finally, they confront Joe, who suddenly starts singing, and the movie ends with a sudden musical ending.
If this movie was really made, it would probably get very poor reviews and be a complete financial flop, but it might end up becoming a cult film. I think it would be a funny experiment to make a movie like this.
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